Time To Remove My Clark Kent Glasses

You know what? Sometimes I wear my sports bra to work.

True story.

I do this for two reasons: 1.) Sometimes the girls get on my nerves and I need to push them out of the way a bit. 2.) I can go on a little impromptu athletic excursion during my work break…. with support.

It kind of makes me feel like Superman. At first glimpse I look like a nerdy teacher in professional gear but underneath lies the key to my super powers… a sports bra.

I even have the Clark Kent glasses.

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For the past two weeks it has been dead winter in these parts. As soon as I gathered the motivation and organization needed to go on these little outdoor excursions in between teaching classes this happened…

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And then this happened…

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(There’s hot chocolate somewhere underneath that mound of whipped cream.)

At first it was really fun! We watched movies and snuggled. And watched movies and snuggled. and watched movies and snuggled… “Okay, you can get off me now… Seriously, get off me!!!”

Cabin fever ran rampant and we started to resort to weird ways of entertaining ourselves while we waited for the cold weather to pass…

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Before long the fun faded and I got SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder, if you must). I didn’t want to spend one more evening in my pajama pants. I needed to get out. I needed exercise! When I started working full time I let my gym membership expire.  Since I started working so much I wasn’t using it. When this happened I figured I could just go outside and run, but as you could see there was a two week span when that wasn’t going to happen.

So without a gym I decided to get a punch pass for our local rec center. Brent and I agreed I could go work out during the evenings that Bridget had swim team practice. I thought this was a great idea. Our rec center was huge I had never ventured upstairs but I was sure they would have all of the equipment I would need. After I bought my pass we all marched up stairs to see what I would have to work with.

It turned out to be a play pin with a handful of cardio equipment shoved in the corner. The feng shui was totally off. I felt claustrophobic just looking at it. As soon as we saw it I turned around and walked out.

I could feel the tears prick my eyes and I wanted to walk ahead of Brent so that he wouldn’t notice. I was acting like a baby and I knew it. But I was really looking forward to having this moment to myself where I could work out and feel good. There was no way I could accomplish this in that little stinky baby play pen. (Yes, I am fully aware that my reaction indicates that a play pen was exactly where I belonged… but that’s not the point.)

What was done was done. I had twelve passes to use up before I could come up with another option. The first Swim Team day arrived and Brent had already made plans for cooking dinner and had already cleaned the house. As soon as I walked in the door from work he asked me if I was going to the gym. I started to come up with an excuse as to why I couldn’t and I could see Brent’s eyes rolling into the back of his head before I could even finish my sentence and gave up.

I was being stupid. I went upstairs and changed into my gym clothes and decided to just give it a try.

When we arrived to the rec center Bridget made her way to the pool and I trudged up the stairs. I chose to work out on an elliptical machine because it was the only thing that wasn’t shoved into a corner. I grumbled to myself as I shoved my ear buds in my head. I started out shuffling along half-heartedly but then something happened. I forgot where I was, I forgot what I was doing and I just enjoyed my music and the feeling of my muscles coming back to life. My lungs burned at first because it had been a while since I had fully utilized them. But even the burning sensation started to fade as I was lost in myself.

In myself… the one place where I can find happiness.

It was then that an epiphany hit me. I don’t need a super fancy gym to obtain my goals, or anything that I could buy for that matter. The answer to my success is simply from within, something I’ve always known but I rarely acknowledge.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed but it’s that time of year…

The one where leeches come out of the wood work. They know that you are going to eat your weight in pumpkin pie and Christmas cookies so they choose this time of year to feed off of all of your insecurities. These are the companies that tell you that they have the one and only diet that will work for you. They have the “all natural supplement” that will suck all of the belly fat out of your abdomen. They’ve all got that one tool that will lead to your ultimate goals and success.

They have the solution for you!  “All for just three easy installments of  $39.95 and then we’ll rape you of the rest because without your full knowledge you have just signed up for a subscription that will automatically pull from your bank account.

I actually just fell for this not too long ago. I got sucked into a fake article about “the skinny pill” sweeping the nation. I knew it was a fake article but I was still curious. They were advertising free trials so I decided to sign up. I told myself that I was doing it simply for research purposes for my readers. Once it came in the mail I ignored it. My moment of weakness had passed and I wasn’t so curious anymore.

Unbeknownst to me the company decided to make an $89 withdrawl from my checking account.

Got all gangsta with customer service and they gave me my money back but I still felt violated… I had just been bamboozled!

Funnily enough, within the past two weeks something started happening to my blog. Instead of having hundreds of visitors to my site a day I was having thousands.

I couldn’t help but be skeptical. What the hell happened? Where are you people coming from? Don’t get me wrong glad your here but in case you didn’t notice from my lack of ad space (a conscious decision) I’m not here to sell you anything.

No greasy salesmen here! If anything were ever endorsed on this blog it is because I truly thought it was beneficial. Not because someone paid me to sell it for them. (No offense greasy salesmen.)

I did some digging and found out that some company had attached themselves to my blog without my permission. I found my website under a different web address. Check it out for yourself… http://naturalfitnessandwellness.com/top-posts/

Did you see it? It’s pretty creepy right?!

Then I simply plugged in naturalfitnessandwellness.com in my computer to see what the hell this was all about. Well guess what I found…

THE SAME ASSHOLES THAT TRIED TO RIP ME OFF!

They are selling Garcinia Cambogia AKA “the skinny pill” sweeping the nation. It’s a SCAM!!! They make this site look like it’s connected to the magazine Good Housekeeping, but if you look at the link that appears it doesn’t say naturalfitnessandwellness.com or goodhousekeeping.com it says goodhousekeep

(Not to mention the stupid name. Have you ever heard of artificial fitness? How is any fitness not natural? Weirdos.)

So if you found my webpage through their shenanigans let me first say. Welcome!

I’m sorry we met this way but listen well.

You can’t buy what you are looking for. The answer to your problems doesn’t come from a pill that you can buy on the internet. Nor does it come from any of the other crap that is being marketed to you.

What you need is a good come to Jesus talk with yourself and realize that you are fully capable of accomplishing anything you set your mind to. Be it your fitness goals, your career goals or your personal goals. The key to your success is belief.

Believe in yourself.

This type of belief isn’t a quick decision to be made but a journey you will travel for your whole life. When you travel down this road you may just find that you are amazed by what you are capable of along the way.

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These companies know the in’s and out’s of your psyche. They know your weakness. They know that it is easier for you to believe that the reason you aren’t living the life you want to live isn’t because of failure but because you didn’t have the required tools.

But if you look inwardly enough you’ll have no choice but to acknowledge that these are just a bunch of bullshit excuses. It’s humbling to admit that you’ve had everything you’ve needed all along. It was just a matter of utilizing it.

Now, time to remove the Clark Kent glasses…

To the company who is trying to use my content to take advantage of my readers.

GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY SITE!

We’re not buying it. I don’t want your traffic. I don’t write this blog to make money. I write this blog to connect with people… not trick them.

So until you stop utilizing me for your shady ways I will virtually kick your ass in every post I make until you unlink yourself to me… because until then every person you send to my website will know better than to spend their money on the bogus shit you are trying to sell.

Get Your Toes Off Of My Nipple

“Get your toes off of my nipple.”

The weirdest phrase that has ever come out of my mouth… and I have motherhood to thank for it.

Over the weekend Penelope and I have been left completely alone. Bridget was out of town for a Girl Scout event and Brent was at work. This left Penelope and I to our own devices. Which included some much needed bonding since I’ve been working full time.

We snuggled and watched “tarcoons”. We painted pictures and made homemade macaroni and cheese…

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We played at the park.

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We fed the ducks.

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And we made eggnog play dough…

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(Here is a link to the Holiday-Scented Play Dough Recipes I used.)

Then things got weird.

Every where I turned her hazel eyes were trained on me.

When I peed- “What you doing?”

When I showered- “Oh I like your boobies!”

Then things started to escalate… at one point a was sucking on a peppermint when she asked, “What you eating? Can I see?”

I opened my mouth to show it to her which provided her the perfect opportunity to shove her chubby little fingers into my mouth where she retrieved the candy and popped it into her own mouth.

Then that strange moment when lines were crossed.

She insisted I get out of the shower to change her diaper because she was poopie. I was dripping wet and my towel slipped out of its tuck and roll position as I leaned over her to clean her up. The creepy toes that managed to make their way to my breast. Then the clinching of the toes and the pinching of the nipple.

That crossed the line. Even moms have boundaries…

“Get your toes off of my nipple!”

“Ohhh, dat your nipple?”

“Yes, don’t touch it.”

“Ohhh, I like your nipple.”

(Nobody told me motherhood would be this weird.)

It’s now nap time and I’m finally able to sit alone and sip on a nice warm cup of Earl Grey while I make preparations for the week ahead. The previous week was spent working late grading 7th grade personal narratives, photo bombing 7th grade selfies and solving 7th grade riddles left under my classroom door.

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By the time I made my way home in the evenings the sun was sinking behind the mountains.

The lack of sunshine has sent me into hibernation mode. This is the time of year when the most primitive part of my brain says, “You must eat cookies… you need to put your stretchy pants on… don’t move or you’ll burn what needs to be stored for winter.”

This lack of sunshine has led me to the conclusion that I’m just going to have to use that window of time that I have between classes (from 10:00 to 11:30) when I don’t technically get paid to get out and get some fresh air. This is hard for me because I typically use this time to grade papers, plan lessons, answer emails and make copies.

But after reading The Power of Habit, I have learned that habits can form in the blink of an eye. If you don’t create them intentionally they will manifest themselves without your permission. So that’s what I need to do… create a new habit before my old winter habits creep back in.

I’ve done this in several other aspects of my life. My job is less stressful because I wake up at five in the morning and show up an hour ahead of time. It doesn’t feel like more work because it has just become the norm. The house work isn’t has hard because my husband does it for me  because I make a habit of getting it done as quickly as possible. Getting ready in the morning hardly takes any time because I have my routine. Making dinner when I get home isn’t stressful because I just automatically do it. All of these things have made me very efficient.

Making new habits is a step by step process but now the time has come to use this momentum and harness it in my weight loss efforts.

Since this was a sink or swim type of week I didn’t make any conscious effort to lose weight. That being said, I also didn’t go out of my way to buy a “I’m stressed sugar filled latte” or a “feel sorry for me because I work hard hamburger”. I just ate what was planned for dinner and if that dinner didn’t suck I took the left overs for lunch.

It’s a slow, painful process but I’ve noticed that since I’ve started writing this blog I’ve become pickier about what I eat. If I’m going to eat something fattening I make it from scratch because processed stuff gives me the willies.

Since I’ve trained myself to eat cleaner I always think twice before buying that junk. That’s not to say I don’t give in sometimes, but it weighs heavier on my conscience now. This helps when you are an emotional eater because some of the old “feel good” foods don’t feel so good any more.

So now, instead of drinking eggnog as soon as it finds its way into the dairy section of the grocery store, I make a batch of eggnog play dough. You get the same feel good scent without getting fat because it tastes gross…

Don’t ask me how I know that. It just does.

If I want something sweet I have to take the time to make it.

If I want a decadent dinner I have to make that too.

A lot of the time all of that effort will deter me from giving in to my guiltiest cravings. And if it doesn’t it tastes damn good because I put a lot of effort into it :)

Treat Yo Self

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I found it! Really and truly this time…

No I’m not talking about The Great Pumpkin. Although, I have found that too… over, and over, and over again. (And I’ve loved every minute of it.)

What I found over the past few weeks is that balance that I am always in a quest for. That allusive thing that only exists in your brain. That perfect in between place where you get shit done, taking care of all of your obligations AND manage to find time to treat yo self.

Ah yeah… I’ve been treating myself real good.

Wait. I didn’t mean… forget it.

What I’m trying to tell you is that I’m happy. Super duper happy. After doing a bit of habit overhauling I finally feel like I’ve got a hold of this whole working mommy thing down without sacrificing the things I need to do for myself in the name of sanity. Here are the things I’ve added back into my life…

1.) Reading! There is nothing better than getting lost in someone else’s story for a change. Once I started my new teaching job I got out of the habit of finding time to read. Then miraculously I got a stomach bug the other weekend. It was awful… but awesome. I was quarantined for an entire day so as soon as the puking subsided I found myself alone… in a hot bath… swimming through the pages of a book. It started out with a book I need to read for an upcoming unit I’m teaching.

Berlin Boxing Club by Robert Sharenow

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What started out as a chore turned into something enjoyable. I couldn’t stop thinking about it even after I had finished it. I didn’t want it to end. But it did. So I picked up another book to fill the void…

I’ll Give You The Sun by Jandy Nelson

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I think this is my new favorite book. I definitely have a new literary hero. The way the characters see the world is like nothing I’ve ever read before. After reading the pages of this book you look up to discover that everything is sprinkled with magic, and you feel like you have been let into a secret club where you are granted the gift of sight for the first time. I was so enamored with it that I couldn’t do anything else in my spare time. I HAD to swallow this book whole.

(You can blame Jandy for my lack of blogging.)

2.) Playing outside. I still haven’t found a consistent workout routine but I have taken the time to go for runs, take my dog for a walk, jump on the trampoline with Penelope and roll around in the leaves outside.

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3.) Cooking. I have finally rediscovered my love of cooking. In fact this morning we made pumpkin pancakes from scratch.

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Made with whole wheat flour, greek yogurt and pumpkin puree… the left overs will be used to feed the girls as they run out the door during the mid-week rush. The smell alone was worth the effort. Although I was a bit rusty, we almost ended up with pumpkin bricks because I  forgot to add the almond milk.

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I also cooked dinner every day this week. I made split pea soup, pan seared pork chops, beans and cornbread… It felt so good to sit at the table as a family and share the food I made for them. Not to mention, I’ve also taken the time to wake up a bit earlier in the mornings so that I can enjoy a cup of coffee or tea in the morning before the daily rush. All of the Starbuck’s cups that usually collect in my car have been replaced by mismatched mugs.

I’m also sure to pack a breakfast before I head out the door…

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My Go To move is still apples topped with greek yogurt, cinnamon and a bit of brown sugar in a mason jar. I bring a sandwich bag of kashi cereal and sprinkle it on when I’m ready to eat it. All of my students think it’s the coolest thing ever. I would have to agree. Plus, it keeps me full forever.

Speaking of which… I’ve finally lost weight. The more I got pulled into work the higher the weight on the scale crept. I got one pound away from 200 pounds. One pound from the weight I refused to return to! When I weighed myself this morning I weighed in at 194.8. This is still ten pounds more than what I weighed a year ago. Thirty pounds higher than what I weighed when I got married. I feel like I should beat myself up about that for your entertainment purposes but I don’t really feel like it. I’m too satisfied at the moment for self loathing.

Instead I’m just going to keep making those little changes that have been making me so happy lately. I plan on spending as much time exercising outside while the weather allows it. I want to keep cooking fresh clean food from scratch, and I’m going to continue to allow myself to enjoy the things that make me happy like reading and writing.

In other words I’m just going to keep living and learning…

And treating my self every now and then, yo.

“Sometimes There Are Just Things You Shouldn’t Say Out Loud”

You know how I tend to say inappropriate things on this blog?

Well, that’s because I treat this thing like a night out with friends drinking wine. I say this because many women are wise enough to keep some of their thoughts tucked away until it’s appropriate – like those times when you are in a room full of other woman who have their wine glasses filled to the brim. Only, I don’t need an unusually large glass of wine to share these thoughts. In fact, I’m usually sipping on a cup of coffee while writing these posts fully aware of the words that I am about to spout out.

I write this blog because I need an outlet, without it I feel like my brain is going to explode.  After I write a post I get that same release that you get after having a really awesome conversation with a friend…

If I put it all out there I feel so much better. And whether you acknowledge it or not, many times you have the same thoughts as I do. You’re just smart enough not to vocalize it.

For instance, one time I confessed to my dad that when I was a teenager I wished that I was best friends with Jay Z so that he could give me piggy back rides. In my teenaged mind piggy back rides was the ultimate form of showing outsiders just how much fun you were having. It would be a good time…

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My dad did not agree. He just looked at me like I was weirdo and wisely said, “Nina, sometimes there are just things you shouldn’t say out loud.”

Fair enough… message received.

Kind of.

Now if I feel the need to designate a celebrity to give me piggy back rides I just save it for my blog.

…okay, I see it now. It is kind of weird.

You know, that weight loss blog I write? Well, it’s kind of a weight loss blog. Maybe we should actually call it a weight loss struggle blog. Would that be more appropriate?

I’ve been struggling the past few months in a way that I haven’t struggled in a long time.

This summer I was blind sided by emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy. Then I got depressed about the baby they had to remove from my fallopian tube. Then before I was able to fully process anything I got a part time job that is actually a full time job. I had no idea how quickly the working process would take effect. I thought I would have time to prepare myself emotionally and physically for the transition from stay at home mom to working mom.

It didn’t really work out that way.

I had to stay home from our family vacation and was immediately thrown into one of the toughest jobs on the planet… teaching.

I’ve had a few growing pains, sacrifices were made in order to ensure I was doing a good job. Then mommy guilt kicked in full force so more sacrifices were made to ensure that I was able to still fit in quality time with my kids. The number one thing scratched off of the priority list was me. This has become evident by the lack of posting going on.

This blog is a direct reflection of how much time I get to myself.

Without this blog I haven’t had an outlet for the random thoughts that I have throughout the day. These little moments come together to create my perspective on life. Without them I feel a bit empty inside. So let’s just take a moment to enjoy a few of the little moments of my life as of late. Shall we?

1.) The time I walked into work and had my breath taken away by my view of the sun physically pulling the darkness of the night out of the earth. It was a chilly morning but those little wisps of dew floating in the air seemed to represent the promise of a beautiful day on the horizon.

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2.) This morning when I went to unlock the door to the computer lab at school. There was something about the way the key fit in the old school door knob that I was instantly reminded of The Never Ending Story. It made me think of the scene where the kid steals the key to the school attic where he hides for the remainder of the day eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and reading a really big book.

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I can’t tell you how badly I wanted to do that too!

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3.) There was also another morning where I glimpsed out my classroom window just in time to see the sun rise. Yeah, I would have preferred to experience this view from the seat of my cruiser bike while the cool wind rushed through my hair. But there is something to be said for how my classroom was included in my view because even if it is hard work, I do look forward to seeing my students every day. I just love the fact, that as a middle school teacher, I get to witness one of the most awkward moments of my student’s lives. There’s a simple beauty to being a part of their first coming of age. Not to mention the fact that they are hilarious, and make me laugh every single day.

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4.) There was also a particularly exhausting evening when Brent was at the fire station. Bridget was moody from a long day of school and Penelope was on the verge of a torrential melt down from playing too hard at the babysitter’s house. I made an executive decision that night to have a mid-week movie night. It was raining out, so as soon as we walked through the door we put on our warm cozy pajama pants and set to work on making broccoli cheddar soup from scratch together. We also made a batch of stove top popcorn and made the adventurous decision to combine the two. It was Master Chef quality ya’ll.

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We spent the remainder of the night snuggling and watching Chicken Little. It was absolute perfection.

5.) That fun Saturday night last weekend spent with my long lost friend and the girls decorating for Halloween, dancing and eating junk food slumber party style.

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You see, without having the time to write my blog I also haven’t had the time to just sit back and reflect on all of the little things that make my life so great.

I have also noticed that a few bad habits have started to develop since I started working. They were just a few things I did out of desperation in order to simply make it through another crazy day… and then another… and then another.

Bad habits that I have adopted since I started working.

1. Stopping for a sugary coffee before work.

2. Taking my pants off as soon as I walk through the door in protest of doing anything else productive for the rest of the day.

3. Not cooking fresh home cooked meals but instead opting for processed quick fixes (junk food).

4. I’ve stopped reading for fun.

5. I’ve stopped writing for fun.

6. I’ve stopped riding my bike.

7. I’ve stopped listening to music on a daily basis (probably because I’m not running anymore).

8. I complain a lot more than I used to.

A few good habits that I have adopted since I started working…

1. I skip out on that nightly glass of wine and opting for vanilla sleepy time tea instead.

2. I wake up at 5 in the morning everyday and have accomplished at least two things before my kids wake up and the day starts.

3. … meh, I ran out. (Three just seemed like a good number for a list.)

After weeks of doing the same things in order to survive I quickly realized that life wasn’t going to slow down.  In the mean time, the little things that I did to make it through the day became habits. Bad habits.

Then last Sunday on my weekly trip to the Farmer’s Market/book store I came across this book called The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg.

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I can’t honestly say that I’ve had time to finish reading it yet. However, the little bit that I have read has already broadened my horizons with the use of  these little nuggets of wisdom…

“At one point we all consciously decided how much to eat and what to focus on when we got to the office, how often to have a drink or when to go for a jog. Then we stopped making a choice, and the behavior became automatic.”

“When a habit emerges, the brain stops fully participating in decision making.”

This reminded me of an inspirational poster I have hanging in my class room…

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It has really caused me to pay attention to all of the little decisions that I make throughout the day.

I’ve been thinking about how to create good habits, not only for myself but also for the kids that I deal with on a daily basis. I can help my kids create habits like cleaning up after themselves and eating healthy. I can help my students create better study habits. I can make my day run seamlessly while simultaneously taking care of all of the necessities of every day life.

All I have to do is consciously make myself eat healthy fresh food,  find the time to exercise, force myself to carve out time to write and reflect. Then… before I know it. It will just become a habit and it won’t feel like a chore anymore. It will just be something that I tend to do. And I’ll feel ten times more awesome.

That being said, here is a list of habits I have decided to consciously adopt this coming week. They aren’t big choices but they will eventually have a positive impact.

1. Drink lots of water.

2. Cook all of my meals and only drink coffee I brewed myself.

3. Take a few minutes to myself every day to focus on me (i.e. reading, writing or playing outside)

***What are some of you habits? If you could change any of them what would they be?***

Something’s Gotta Give

I have come to the unfortunate realization that life is kicking my ass…

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I’ve spent one too many mornings waking up worried about all of the things I need to accomplish for my students that I can’t sleep. I’ve gotten everything done but that doesn’t stop more work from coming in. It’s making me delirious… and tired. Very, very tired.

I haven’t had any time to myself, time with my husband or time with my kids and I’ve gotten to a point where I couldn’t handle it anymore. I hit a wall and it just so happened to be while my best friend Emily came for a visit.

I hadn’t seen her in two years and was beyond excited. However, this excitement didn’t keep me from falling asleep at the airport when I went to pick her up. Her flight was delayed so I sat down next to strangers to people watch. The next thing I knew I was jerking awake fully aware that people were people watching me. She made fun of me when she walked up to me and I didn’t even see her because I was staring into space.

I was so frustrated all weekend because I couldn’t muster up the energy to celebrate her being in town like I wanted to! I had faked having energy one too many days and I was all dried up.

So I did what any rational grown woman does when she’s frustrated. I cried.

And she did what any good friend would do. She told me to take a nap.

Later that night we sat down at my kitchen table with a glass of wine and tried to figure out a schedule so that I could manage to fit everything in my life that I needed to fit in. She was the perfect person to have around at a time like this. She thrives on planning things and meeting nearly impossible deadlines. In fact, she’s so good at it that she’s made a living out of it. She’s the cofounder of Austin’s first Television Fesitval, ATX so she knows all about handling stress. And posing for magazine spreads apparently…

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(While she was here she failed to mention that she was being featured in a magazine. She’s the one on the left.)

Anyway, getting back to the point, she told me that her trick is to plan her day in thirty minute increments. But first we had to make lists, because she loves lists. We did it together and made the following lists:

Priorities: Family time, Me time, Brent and me time, exercise, eating healthy, reading, writing

Must Do’s: Grade a million papers a day, plan lessons, laundry, clean house, grocery shopping, meetings, checking emails,

Here is a glimpse of the daily schedule that we came up with together:

5:00-wake up

5:15 to 5:45- Grade, plan, drink coffee

5:45 to 6:30- Get ready for the day/Get Penelope ready

6:45- Drop Penelope off

7:00 to 8:00- Grade papers, answer emails and plan lessons

8:00 to 10:00- Teach at school 1/pack everything up for other school

10:30 to 11:00- Go for a walk/go to meetings

11:00 to 12:00- Grade papers, answer emails and plan lessons

12:00 to 3:00- Teach at school 2

3:00 to 4:00- Meetings/after school help for kids

4:00 to 5:00- Grade papers, answer emails and plan lessons

5:00 to 7:30- Family time (Cook dinner, deal with tantrums, sing songs, do laundry, run errands, walk the dog, etc.)

7:30 to 8:00- Penelope time (bath, stories, songs)

8:00 to 9:00- Get stuff ready for next day, hang out with Bridget

9:00 to 10:00- Get ready for bed/read/actually have a conversation with my husband

10:00- Go to sleep

Now that I think about it… it actually makes me more exhausted typing it out. I don’t even know if this will work because I have a 2 year old wildcard who rarely does what is planned. For instance, as I sit here trying to type this blog post out at 8:45 at night she is screaming her head off in her room refusing to sleep.

Wait… now she’s howling like a wolf. Or is it a ghost? There’s just no telling with that kid.

I thought I could go grocery shopping today and get some meal planning taken care of but this about sums up how that went…

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We came home nearly empty handed and ended up eating Peanut butter toast for dinner instead.

I’ll look back at this and smile one day, right?

Everything is pretty exhausting but it’s not all bad. Here is a list of things that make up for the chaos…

1. The fact that my husband is a much better housewife than I am. When I get home the house is clean and he has some form of dinner planned out and ready to cook.

2. At night when I’m dog tired Bridget will just curl up in bed with me and read a book while I pass out after drinking a cup of sleepy time tea.

3. Penelope who constantly tells me she loves me and lets me know how much she likes that “sunshine song” I sing to her.

4. Friends who sit at my kitchen table and help me try to formulate some sort of survival plan.

5. Other friends who are willing to wake up before the crack of dawn so that I can go for a walk and talk while the sun rises.

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6. Students who thank me for holding them hostage during their lunch hour because they have assignments missing in my grade book. “Thanks for caring so much Mrs. Chapman.” Seriously, what 13 year old says that? Weirdos ;)

Okay I feel better now. Thanks for that.

I think we should skip the part where I weighed myself and weighed in at 199.6 pounds. Too late.

Somethings gotta give ya’ll and lets hope it’s not the seam in my pants. Yikes!