Hysteria

dreams

Yesterday I was unable to write a blog post because I was too busy having a meltdown. I try to schedule one in at least every four months.

I’m a woman… this is perfectly normal. If we were a little further back in history I’m pretty sure I would have been diagnosed with hysteria. “During the 19th century women considered to be suffering from it exhibited a wide array of symptoms including faintness, nervousness, sexual desire, insomnia, fluid retention, heaviness in abdomen, muscle spasm, shortness of breath, irritability, loss of appetite for food or sex, and a tendency to cause trouble.” True story, Wikipedia said so.

A little contradictory isn’t it?

However, after looking at that list I’m pretty sure I exhibit at least one of those symptoms on any given day.

Fun fact… the vibrator was invented in an attempt to cure hysteria. Whoa! I know, that totally came out of nowhere.

I learned this little tidbit in my Feminist Thought class in college. This fact alone was the reason I found myself sitting in the public library surrounded by books with titles like “The Joy of Self Love”. Every time someone walked by I wanted to clarify that I was indeed writing an important paper and I was strictly doing academic research. But I kept my mouth shut knowing that nobody would believe me anyway… I’m tempted to post my paper for proof.

Anyway, my meltdown was triggered by severe sleep deprivation. I had gone two weeks sleeping in spurts because Penelope’s teeth were coming in or her tummy was hurting her. Brent has been sick too so I couldn’t tag him in on the action.

The final straw came the other night when I fell asleep with my contacts in. During Penelope’s eleven o’clock wake up I peeled them off of my eyeballs and proceeded to wake up on the hour every hour until 2:30, when my brain just decided to forget the whole sleeping business. I laid there until Penelope cried again at 3:30 and I just stayed up.

I felt great until Penelope refused to take her morning nap. I was really hoping to catch up on some z’s during this nap time. So when she decided this just wasn’t going to happen I pretty much unraveled and by unraveled I mean that I cried like a baby.

I was just. So. Tired.

I couldn’t handle it anymore. Brent took over even though he still wasn’t feeling all that great. At this point I was too tired to sleep I just sat down and watched TV in a zombie state. I couldn’t even focus on what I was watching because my eyeballs still hurt from accidentally sleeping in my contacts.

That night I went to bed at 7:30 and Brent took over for morning duty and let me sleep in until 8. I don’t think I’ve done that since Penelope was born. It was exactly what I needed.

When I woke up today and realised that it is Penelope’s 11 month birthday. I always take a picture of her each month next to the same sock monkey to chart her growth…

1

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6

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9

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10

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11

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I can’t believe in a month the first year is over. Just looking through these photos I can see just how fast she is growing. Since Bridget is already 10 I know that this time is fleeting.

I’m a little tired and I’ve got a weird twitchy eye but I wouldn’t trade it for anything… hysteria and all.

7 thoughts on “Hysteria

  1. AWWWW! Happy birthday (and almost one year birthday!) Penelope. If you like younger men my Graham is 7 months old. Think she is interested in being a cougar?

  2. Every time I read one of your posts, I feel like that was me, only six months ago. Hang in there, it gets better each month. My second didn’t sleep through the night until she was 10 months. Then after two weeks she started getting a mouth full of teeth and the tease of a full night’s sleep was over. I really do feel for you.

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