My Psyche is an Enabler

mental

True story… Although, if my shorts were that far up my butt I would be going mental for a whole other reason.

(Don’t mind me, I’m just hatin.)

Do you know what really sucks about writing a weight loss blog? You can’t lie to yourself.

It’s a shame really, because those little lies can really booster up your self esteem.

You look great in those skinny jeans… nobody will notice your muffin top.”

“You need to cheat in order to keep your metabolism revved up.”

“You only weigh more because you’ve gained muscle.”

My psyche is an enabler…

I looked at the calendar and realized that I’m supposed to post another round of monthly pictures with measurements this Friday. That’s when I realized the little white lies I was telling myself over the past month weren’t really doing me any favors.

Now I have to face another round of pictures that will refuse to lie for me. I’m going to be stuck looking at a replica of myself from a month ago. All of that wasted time is going to taunt me.

The strange thing about weight loss is that the scale really doesn’t tell you whether you are going to be successful or not. It’s a gut feeling you get when you are on track that lets you know.

I get this giddy feeling when I know that things are about to change for the better. I got that feeling while I was on the elliptical machine today at the gym. I was having another dance party in my head while I tried to burn off some of that chub I’ve been carrying around. I knew that in that moment I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.

One good decision leads to another and before you know it you’ve had a successful week of doing what you told yourself you would do.

Unfortunately, the same can be said for bad decisions. Once I cave in on one bad decision I’ll cave in on another and then another, until I have a little mental intervention. Then I have to start all over again.

You’ve witnessed this. That is why I’ve fluctuated for the past month losing only 5 pounds.

I’ll do great and then cut myself some slack as a reward.  I’ll lose two pounds and then gain two pounds. Then I’ll lose 2 and a half pounds and then I’ll gain three.

If I wasn’t logging my weigh-in’s I wouldn’t have realized this. I would be under the delusion that I’m actually losing weight. When in reality I’m only losing the same two pounds over and over again.

I feel good about this week though. I’ve followed one good weigh-in with even more effort.

This time next month I want to see significant changes and in order to accomplish that I need to stop lying to myself… no matter how annoying the truth is.

process

One thought on “My Psyche is an Enabler

  1. My psyche is an asshole. He totally wants me to fail. Plus, he’s wayyy out of touch with reality.

    “Your jeans are only too tight because you put them in the dryer!”
    “Pizza is super healthy! Cheese = protein and tomato sauce = vegetables! You rock!”

    Yeah. I need to shut him up.

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