The Greatest Flaw

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Yesterday I took some time to head down to good ol’ downtown Denver to have lunch with two of my old college buddies to relive the glory days of urban freedom.

Cate is one of those people who you see walking down the street and you can’t help but think to yourself… “I want to be her friend.” In fact I did see her on campus before heading toward a writing workshop and thought that very thing. To my surprise she was sitting there when I walked in and when I spoke to her she spoke back in a South African accent.  The words that came out of her mouth were some of the wittiest I’d ever heard, solidifying the fact that I had to be her friend.

I couldn’t help but feel like a middle school girl invited to the cool kid table when she started saving my seat in class… and the rest was history.

Cate and I always end up in parallel situations in life but she’s ten times more graceful about it. She has an air of reckless abandon about her. Yet, everything she does is done with ease and style. She’s like that cat who gets thrown out of a car window only to land on her feet slinking away as if it were all apart of her plan.

As we walked through the streets of Denver we were talking about something and I told her I was jealous… of what I don’t remember. As we waited to cross the street a weird, disheveled woman popped into the conversation and said, “Don’t be jealous! Jealousy will ruin you!”

I just looked at her and said “You’re right!” and then I turned to Cate and said, “I’m not jealous of you.”

The woman just gave me a dirty look and wobbled away. She must have thought I was mocking her but I wasn’t. For all I knew she was an angel of insight. Either that or a crack head, I’m not sure which but it didn’t matter because she had a point.

Without another word Cate and I made our way across the street and beyond the jack hammers to meet up with Bettina.

Bettina is a striking beauty who I just so happened to have the pleasure of sitting next to in several literature classes. You can’t help but feel old when you are surrounded by young people who actually went to college when they were supposed to, even if I was in my late twenties. I don’t think I ever went a semester without sharing at least one class with her. We were destined to be friends.

During lunch Bettina confessed that she had always sat next to me so that the professors would leave her alone. That way she could be free to text her boyfriends during class 😉 You see, I’m that weird girl who chimes in quite a bit during class. Apparently I have a lot to say. Bettina figured if she sat next to me then the participation requirement for our side of the room would always be fulfilled and she would be off the hook.

I even ended up sitting next to Bettina during graduation.

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In fact, there is an awkward graduation picture of me framed in her house where I’m sandwiched between her and her boyfriend. At the time they had just started a flirtation that I could sense when the photographer came up to take our picture. I knew in that moment that I shouldn’t have been standing in between the two of them but I couldn’t say or do anything about it. I wasn’t sure if they were just friends or not, I didn’t want to make things more awkward. I had no other choice but to just stand there and smile. So there I am, in the middle of what would have been a perfect photo if only I weren’t in it, framed in the house that they share together.

One day their kids will say, “Who is that?”

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You know how Forest Gump always managed to be in the right place at the right time? Well, I’m the opposite of that. If there is an awkward situation to be had I’ll end up in the middle of it. Life is like a box a chocolates I guess… and I ate them all.

Actually that’s not true, in fact I haven’t been eating much other than that sandwich shared with old friends. My mind as been in other places that chocolate can’t even touch. My appetite is gone but I still have to feed my family.  To my pleasure I have found a blog/book that makes cooking dinner for your family seem like a treat. It’s called Dinner A Love Story. I’ve read a couple of her posts and there’s something about her humble way of doing things right that makes me feel good. In fact, I’ve referred to her post 15 recipes Every Parent Should Know about ten times in the last two weeks.

I find my self more attracted to blogs that are centered around living a healthy balanced life because I feel like that is what I continually strive to achieve… balance. The bloggers also have to have a certain level of humility about them. I want to know that they aren’t perfect despite appearances.

This left me wondering if I felt the same way about my friends… Can I truly be friends with someone who was completely content with themselves?

I have sinking feeling that I couldn’t.

Is it because I’m a miserable bitch who feeds off of other’s insecurities? I hope not.

Is it because I’m afraid I couldn’t relate with them? Maybe.

I’d like to think that I feel this way because it’s simply a matter of honesty. There is no way someone could feel as if they were perfect… and if they did then we’ve found their greatest flaw.

So I take comfort in that… knowing that of all of the flaws that I have, being perfect isn’t one of them 😉

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What do you look for in a friend?

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