Freak Show

Hi, I’m Nina… and I’m a freak show.

Every time I see this snuggly face in the morning I want to cry.

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You see, we have a morning routine that includes snuggling for a good thirty minutes. I’m not going to have time for that on the weekdays anymore and I may or may not have cried about it a couple of times.

When I was younger and didn’t have children I thrived off of change. My life long goal was to keep moving. I thought as long as I had a cute bathing suit and a working car that could get me to a place where that bathing suit might be useful then my life would be complete. I got bored easily and was always looking for ways to rock the boat. As soon as I got pregnant with Bridget my whole outlook changed. Rocking the boat was no longer something I craved because I didn’t want to do anything that would make waves for my kid.

Gone are the days of embracing change. That once spontaneous fun loving girl is now replaced by a freak show who has a melt down at every life changing event for fear that one day her child will end up on the show Intervention. I’m not proud of it but it’s the truth. Being a parent is hard because every thing you do impacts your kids.

I cherish every moment I have with my kids but at the same time I’m excited for those golden years when I can be reckless again… Mark my words, as soon as Penelope is off and on her own I will be on a nude beach somewhere scaring off all of the locals. By that time I will have outgrown the cute bathing suit thing and will no longer be responsible for my kid’s psychological well being.

It took me a while to acknowledge the change in my personality that came with motherhood. But now that I am aware of how I react to change I am better able to deal with myself and my meltdowns. I’ve been predicting a major one to happen once I started student teaching for quite a while. In fact, I wrote about it here on this post call Mom Jeans about a year ago.

That being said, the melt down has begun. For the past few days I have been smothering myself with my children spending as much quality time with them as possible before I get caught up in the work load that finishing my grad degree will require.

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I have some planning ahead that I need to do to make sure my first week runs smoothly but I don’t want to spend too much time doing that instead of hanging out with my kids. I’m seriously driving myself crazy. I am such a weirdo.

That being said I have already started to embrace a few changes. For one, I finally tried this salad I’ve been meaning to try for a while…

Chopped Brussels Sprouts Salad With Creamy Shallot Dressing

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It will definitely go in the rotation for packing lunches. The left over dressing is currently sitting in my refrigerator. I’ve got a science experiment going on to see how long it will last.

I’ve also started making double batches of things and freezing the leftovers. I read that if you freeze your food in bags on a flat surface and then stack them like books not only will your freezer be more organized but your food will thaw out faster too.

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Another thing I never did before kids… freeze shit and then take pictures of it. What is wrong with me?

So far I’ve collected the meat and sauce for Skinny chicken enchiladas, left over chicken quinoa harvest soup and turkey meatballs loaded with veggies. I’ve been also making a mental note of the things I think look yummy on pinterest or food blogs that I follow for meals for the following week. I never seem to find inspiration when I need it (Sunday during meal planning) so I’ve decided to start making the list when the inspiration finds me.

*Have you encountered personality changes as you’ve gotten older? If so what were they, and do you think they are for the better or for the worse?*

One thought on “Freak Show

  1. I can completely relate! I worry all the time that I am accidentally messing my kids up but then I tell myself that the fact that I worry about it means I’m probably doing most of this mom thing right! Good luck with all these exciting changes. What an amazing role model for your two ladies! On a sidenote- are you still doing weekly weigh ins? Happy New year to you and your family.

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