You’re Winking at Me!

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Well… it’s been one hell of a week, let me tell you.

Honestly, it’s been a while since I talked to you so I’m not even sure where to even start.

Let’s see, where did I leave off? Oh yes, bitch slapping and not making excuses…

After giving myself that little pep talk Monday was going great, I started to take over a few more of the classes and I was feeling really confident about my teaching skills. I had to teach a lesson to one of the more boisterous classes but I didn’t care, I was ready for them.

I stood up from my perch in the corner and made my way to the middle of the classroom to give my power point presentation. As soon as I stood I felt a sharp stabbing pain on the right side of my stomach. I carried on as if nothing was wrong and managed to grunt my way through the lesson. I kept thinking the pain would ebb away but it never did. I couldn’t stand up straight and I couldn’t sit down. So I hunched over toward my right side clutching my stomach trying to act nonchalant about it.  In a strange way it felt like I was in labor and suffering from a never-ending contraction.

When I was done teaching the lesson the kids were left to work on an assignment alone. I tried to walk around to make sure that they were on task. One kid asked me a question and when I gave him his answer he looked at me with a puzzled expression on his face and said, “You’re winking at me! Why are you winking at me? Is it wrong?!”

I didn’t realize it but I was scrunching up my right eye as I grimaced in pain. I couldn’t help but laugh at him, which then made me wink at him again because it made my stomach hurt even worse.

I made it through two class periods like this. Determined to keep mind over matter but by the end of my last class all of the kids were giving me sideways glances wondering what the hell was wrong with me.

I was wondering the same thing.

Instead, of staying after class to help tutor the kids and prepare for the next day I chose to go to Urgent Care to see what was going on with me. I could barely stand up right. My mentor teacher offered to escort me to my car but I assured her I could make it on my own… even though I had serious doubts as to whether I actually could.

I felt like a wounded dog that wanted to hide under the porch to die alone. I seriously second guessed my decision to drive myself as I squealed in pain with every bump in the road.

Long story short… I was suffering from kidney stones.

The most awesome part about this revelation was the fact that I was expected to carry a pee strainer with me in the halls of middle school for the remainder of the week every time I had to pee. To make matters worse, I had to wait for another teacher to give me the key to the bathroom before I was allowed to go since I’m not allowed to have a key due to the fact that I’m a student teacher.

After peeing on my hand for the fifth time I finally made an executive decision and threw the damn thing away. It was officially the grossest treasure hunt I’ve ever participated in and I was done with it.

Since the initial attack the majority of the pain ceased to exist. I just felt tender like I had been used as a human punching bag and was beyond exhausted.

Then Thursday rolled around and I had to work a 15 hour day due to parent teacher conferences. Turns out it was worth it because I found out that several of the kids had talked about me at home… in a good way. Apparently I’m “awesome”.  It made me feel good to find out that they actually like me… even if I was freaking them out with my grimace/wink and was spotted roaming the halls with a pee strainer.

By the time I came home on Friday night I was in major need of some alone time.  As soon as I walked through the door everyone was vying for my attention because I had been gone the entire day before… so alone time had to happen after bedtime.

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This week as been so crazy I can’t remember a single meal that I ate, nevermind working out. My soul goal was to survive. When I weighed in this morning the scale said 187.8. I don’t even remember how much I weighed last week so I don’t even know how to feel about it.

I had three assignments due this weekend and I was just proud that I had managed to keep logging hours at school despite the kidney stones and manage to finish all of my work. (One assignment alone is 65 pages long… eew.)

Since I had finished all of my work by Saturday morning my main focus for the remainder of the weekend was to relax and enjoy my family.

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We played in the snow and I finally made that split pea soup I shared with you guys last week.

It. Was. Perfect.

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Who knew split pea soup could be so delicious?!

So, I have basically subsisted on baguettes coated in butter, dipped in split pea soup and washed down with red wine for the majority of the weekend.

I’m in desperate need for some fiction in my life but I don’t have time to submerge myself in a good book. So instead of reading my book I’m eating one.

The theme for this meal is Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly.

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And now as I finish typing this post I’m going to drink some beer and pretend to watch the super bowl because I live in Denver.

Cheers! Here’s to a better week than the last one!

3 thoughts on “You’re Winking at Me!

  1. You just had me dying laughing! I can relate to the kidney stones, after delivering 4 kiddos (both ways lol) and never crying thru any labor, I cried through kidney stones…miserable! And mine were the “biggest” the ER dr had ever seen…never good! So I had to have 2 surgeries to break them up! My kiddos enjoyed the parts of your post about winking and pee strainer 🙂

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