Time To Remove My Clark Kent Glasses

You know what? Sometimes I wear my sports bra to work.

True story.

I do this for two reasons: 1.) Sometimes the girls get on my nerves and I need to push them out of the way a bit. 2.) I can go on a little impromptu athletic excursion during my work break…. with support.

It kind of makes me feel like Superman. At first glimpse I look like a nerdy teacher in professional gear but underneath lies the key to my super powers… a sports bra.

I even have the Clark Kent glasses.

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For the past two weeks it has been dead winter in these parts. As soon as I gathered the motivation and organization needed to go on these little outdoor excursions in between teaching classes this happened…

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And then this happened…

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(There’s hot chocolate somewhere underneath that mound of whipped cream.)

At first it was really fun! We watched movies and snuggled. And watched movies and snuggled. and watched movies and snuggled… “Okay, you can get off me now… Seriously, get off me!!!”

Cabin fever ran rampant and we started to resort to weird ways of entertaining ourselves while we waited for the cold weather to pass…

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Before long the fun faded and I got SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder, if you must). I didn’t want to spend one more evening in my pajama pants. I needed to get out. I needed exercise! When I started working full time I let my gym membership expire.  Since I started working so much I wasn’t using it. When this happened I figured I could just go outside and run, but as you could see there was a two week span when that wasn’t going to happen.

So without a gym I decided to get a punch pass for our local rec center. Brent and I agreed I could go work out during the evenings that Bridget had swim team practice. I thought this was a great idea. Our rec center was huge I had never ventured upstairs but I was sure they would have all of the equipment I would need. After I bought my pass we all marched up stairs to see what I would have to work with.

It turned out to be a play pin with a handful of cardio equipment shoved in the corner. The feng shui was totally off. I felt claustrophobic just looking at it. As soon as we saw it I turned around and walked out.

I could feel the tears prick my eyes and I wanted to walk ahead of Brent so that he wouldn’t notice. I was acting like a baby and I knew it. But I was really looking forward to having this moment to myself where I could work out and feel good. There was no way I could accomplish this in that little stinky baby play pen. (Yes, I am fully aware that my reaction indicates that a play pen was exactly where I belonged… but that’s not the point.)

What was done was done. I had twelve passes to use up before I could come up with another option. The first Swim Team day arrived and Brent had already made plans for cooking dinner and had already cleaned the house. As soon as I walked in the door from work he asked me if I was going to the gym. I started to come up with an excuse as to why I couldn’t and I could see Brent’s eyes rolling into the back of his head before I could even finish my sentence and gave up.

I was being stupid. I went upstairs and changed into my gym clothes and decided to just give it a try.

When we arrived to the rec center Bridget made her way to the pool and I trudged up the stairs. I chose to work out on an elliptical machine because it was the only thing that wasn’t shoved into a corner. I grumbled to myself as I shoved my ear buds in my head. I started out shuffling along half-heartedly but then something happened. I forgot where I was, I forgot what I was doing and I just enjoyed my music and the feeling of my muscles coming back to life. My lungs burned at first because it had been a while since I had fully utilized them. But even the burning sensation started to fade as I was lost in myself.

In myself… the one place where I can find happiness.

It was then that an epiphany hit me. I don’t need a super fancy gym to obtain my goals, or anything that I could buy for that matter. The answer to my success is simply from within, something I’ve always known but I rarely acknowledge.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed but it’s that time of year…

The one where leeches come out of the wood work. They know that you are going to eat your weight in pumpkin pie and Christmas cookies so they choose this time of year to feed off of all of your insecurities. These are the companies that tell you that they have the one and only diet that will work for you. They have the “all natural supplement” that will suck all of the belly fat out of your abdomen. They’ve all got that one tool that will lead to your ultimate goals and success.

They have the solution for you!  “All for just three easy installments of  $39.95 and then we’ll rape you of the rest because without your full knowledge you have just signed up for a subscription that will automatically pull from your bank account.

I actually just fell for this not too long ago. I got sucked into a fake article about “the skinny pill” sweeping the nation. I knew it was a fake article but I was still curious. They were advertising free trials so I decided to sign up. I told myself that I was doing it simply for research purposes for my readers. Once it came in the mail I ignored it. My moment of weakness had passed and I wasn’t so curious anymore.

Unbeknownst to me the company decided to make an $89 withdrawl from my checking account.

Got all gangsta with customer service and they gave me my money back but I still felt violated… I had just been bamboozled!

Funnily enough, within the past two weeks something started happening to my blog. Instead of having hundreds of visitors to my site a day I was having thousands.

I couldn’t help but be skeptical. What the hell happened? Where are you people coming from? Don’t get me wrong glad your here but in case you didn’t notice from my lack of ad space (a conscious decision) I’m not here to sell you anything.

No greasy salesmen here! If anything were ever endorsed on this blog it is because I truly thought it was beneficial. Not because someone paid me to sell it for them. (No offense greasy salesmen.)

I did some digging and found out that some company had attached themselves to my blog without my permission. I found my website under a different web address. Check it out for yourself… http://naturalfitnessandwellness.com/top-posts/

Did you see it? It’s pretty creepy right?!

Then I simply plugged in naturalfitnessandwellness.com in my computer to see what the hell this was all about. Well guess what I found…

THE SAME ASSHOLES THAT TRIED TO RIP ME OFF!

They are selling Garcinia Cambogia AKA “the skinny pill” sweeping the nation. It’s a SCAM!!! They make this site look like it’s connected to the magazine Good Housekeeping, but if you look at the link that appears it doesn’t say naturalfitnessandwellness.com or goodhousekeeping.com it says goodhousekeep

(Not to mention the stupid name. Have you ever heard of artificial fitness? How is any fitness not natural? Weirdos.)

So if you found my webpage through their shenanigans let me first say. Welcome!

I’m sorry we met this way but listen well.

You can’t buy what you are looking for. The answer to your problems doesn’t come from a pill that you can buy on the internet. Nor does it come from any of the other crap that is being marketed to you.

What you need is a good come to Jesus talk with yourself and realize that you are fully capable of accomplishing anything you set your mind to. Be it your fitness goals, your career goals or your personal goals. The key to your success is belief.

Believe in yourself.

This type of belief isn’t a quick decision to be made but a journey you will travel for your whole life. When you travel down this road you may just find that you are amazed by what you are capable of along the way.

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These companies know the in’s and out’s of your psyche. They know your weakness. They know that it is easier for you to believe that the reason you aren’t living the life you want to live isn’t because of failure but because you didn’t have the required tools.

But if you look inwardly enough you’ll have no choice but to acknowledge that these are just a bunch of bullshit excuses. It’s humbling to admit that you’ve had everything you’ve needed all along. It was just a matter of utilizing it.

Now, time to remove the Clark Kent glasses…

To the company who is trying to use my content to take advantage of my readers.

GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY SITE!

We’re not buying it. I don’t want your traffic. I don’t write this blog to make money. I write this blog to connect with people… not trick them.

So until you stop utilizing me for your shady ways I will virtually kick your ass in every post I make until you unlink yourself to me… because until then every person you send to my website will know better than to spend their money on the bogus shit you are trying to sell.

3 thoughts on “Time To Remove My Clark Kent Glasses

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