Since the beginning of time I dreamed of that moment in my life when I was supremely organized and put together. This vision of myself usually involved getting up before the crack of dawn and working out before anyone else in the world was awake. To me this symbolized the greatest amount of self discipline around. This is probably due to my youthful obsession with Rocky and the Karate Kid…
From these movies I learned that waking up and training hard meant winning. After we returned from our Thanksgiving vacation in St. Louis I felt that I needed to kick things up a notch. This could have also been triggered by the fact that I felt like a walking water bed due to the indulgence of the week #notwinning. I’m not entirely convinced it was the Thanksgiving feast that did me in but the munching that took place during the 14 hour drive there and back that did it. Penelope watched Frozen no less than ten times during this trip and I was trying to drown it out with my munching before I felt the urge to punch Olaf in the face.
Let it goooo… munch munch munch… Let it goooooo… crunch crunch crunch
When we returned I went gym shopping. We have friends who own different gyms around town but I needed a place that was open at 4 in the morning… Yes, that’s right, I said 4. Luckily for me the 24 hour fitness near my home and work was having a black Friday sale and I was able to sign up fairly simple. Plus they had a space designated for the types of work outs I used to do with Brent back in the day when he wasn’t burned out on training people. Oh how I miss that!
Since Brent is officially Mr. Mom while I’m away at work he refuses to train me anymore, but I’ve learned enough from him to develop my own workouts.
I got the membership on Sunday and woke up at 4 on Monday for the sleepy trek to the gym. My biggest concern about working out in the morning before work was figuring out how I was going to manage to fix my hair. It goes down to my waist and takes forever to dry. I had no idea how I was going to be able to fix it in time for work when I was done working out.
I don’t wash my hair everyday because my hair stylist friend told me that it will break and dry out my hair. So I usually wash my hair every other day. Working out poses a threat to this routine because… well, sweat.
I asked Amanda, my hairdresser friend what she does. She also has long hair that looks perfect all of the time despite the fact that she works out sometimes twice a day. I asked her what her trick was and she said… “Dry shampoo.”
So that’s what I did. I washed my hair the night before and went to sleep with it wet. Then when I went to the gym I tied my hair in a bun on my head and worked my water bed butt off. I was sweaty but not too super sweaty thanks to the humongous fans that were blowing down on me from the ceiling.
After I was done with my work out I made my way into the women’s locker room for a quick shower to rinse my body off and wash my face.
Now, can I make a confession?
I usually avoid the locker room. There is just something about public pubic hair that really bothers me. So of course as soon as I walk in the first thing I see is a lady standing in her bra and nothing else.
As a rule I think your underpants should be the last thing to go. If I were to write out a locker room etiquette book this would be number one.
Locker Room Etiquette Book
1. If you are limited to one item of clothing that piece of clothing needs to be your panties.
2. Being topless is acceptable but only if necessary.
3. Public pubic hair should be avoided at all costs.
4. Seriously… nobody needs to see that.
© The Prude Cowering In The Corner Trying to Avert Her Eyes
After surviving the shower I blow-dried the rest of the lingering sweat from my hair. When I was done I sprayed a little more dry shampoo and proceeded to curl my hair. It turned out perfect. (Which is weird considering how gross the whole blow drying your sweat thing sounds.)
Today I woke up with my second day hair. I was afraid it would be gross thanks to the sweating that occurred the day before but surprisingly it was still perfect. My second day hair tends to be braid day. As far as Penelope is concerned this means it is dress up like Anna and Elsa day.
As soon as she saw my “Elsa hair” she had to have her “Anna hair”. This entails pigtail braids and arguing with a two year old on whether wearing a princess dress to her babysitter’s house is considered appropriate or not.
Needless to say, she won that argument.
I tried to take a picture of my hair to show you how perfect it looked on day two for this post before we left the house. But by the time I had chased Penelope down, wrestled her out of her pajamas, fought the tooth brush battle, packed her things for the day and then repacked them again after she unpacked them, I was left with a pulsing headache and pulsing forehead veins to go with it.
But forehead veins aside, my hair still looked pretty good 😉
The point is I can mark the “I won’t have time to fix my hair at the gym” excuse off of the list.
Now, we just need to decide whether it may or may not be beneficial to stop taking selfies at the age of 34 due to the forehead veins and wrinkles. But that’s a post for another day.
P.S. For any reader who just so happened to stumble upon my blog by typing the phrase “Public Pubic Hair” into the search engine… I’m not so sure I’m comfortable with you reading my blog. Weirdo.