Before and After-
This is an ongoing process that will continue for the rest of my life. These photos show the journey at hand. The highs and the lows. It takes tenacity to make healthy decisions a lifestyle.
I became pregnant with baby number 2 after a ten-year hiatus. During my first pregnancy I had gained a ton of weight. All visions of a cute baby bump were shot as I slowly transformed into Jabba the Hutt.
If you are interested in seeing my weight loss journey after my first pregnancy see Back Fat… Crap, It’s Back.
During my second pregnancy I was determined to keep that from happening again. When I wasn’t puking or eating Pop Tarts I was working out…
But I spent a lot of time puking and eating Pop Tarts so it wasn’t enough to keep me from transforming into Fat Bastard.
“Get in my belly!”
By the end of my second pregnancy I had tipped the scale at 250 lbs.
And apparently I only had one shirt left that would stretch over the belly that measured 44 weeks on my due day.
(Either that or I had peed my pants… it happens.)
Although working out did nothing for my physique it helped a ton during delivery. It made the birthing experience so much better than my first. However, when I got home from the hospital I suffered from delayed preeclampsia and to my surprise that dreaded two week postpartum hemorrhaging period lasted nine months. It was like being on my period for nine months solid so I did what any woman does during her period… I ate. It didn’t help that I also suffer from PCOS.
I didn’t realize until later that I was also suffering from postpartum depression. I didn’t allow myself to realize just how severe it was until it was over. During the time I just kept trying to talk myself out of my “slump”.
By the time Christmas time rolled around something had to change because I was miserable. After all of the tinsel had been taken down I gave myself a pep talk and started taking this journey seriously…
Progress from December 2012 to March 2013 weights ranging from 225 to 201:
I hit the gym hard…
I cleaned up what I ate…
And I spent less time on the couch feeling sorry for myself and more time playing outside…
It wasn’t easy and still isn’t… I screw up a lot and I fight myself on a daily basis.
But every time I fall on my face I get back up, dust myself off and head back in the right direction. Before I know it, I find myself hitting milestones.
I’ve learned how to enjoy things like shopping again…
I’ve stopped talking down to myself and started to take pride in my appearance again regardless of the weight on the scale.
Throughout this journey toward health I have found a balance that has brought happiness into my life.
Does that mean that I have hit the finish line?
Life is full of ups and downs and unfortunately my body weight tends to fluctuate with those highs and lows.
My weight loss was placed on hold during the Spring of 2014 due to the fact that I was finishing my grad degree and doing my student teaching. It was a very stressful time but I was able to get through it without gaining any weight.
When summer had arrived I was ready to finish what I had started. I had about twenty more pounds to lose and finally had the time to do it. But my motivation was at an all time low. I was craving carbs and exhausted on a daily basis making it hard to work out. It wasn’t until I was suffering from extreme abdominal cramps that I found the reason behind this. I was eight weeks pregnant. Unfortunately, it was an ectopic pregnancy and I had to have an emergency surgery to remove it.
(During the time I wrote the post, Out of the Blue. After I had recovered from surgery a bit I wrote Butthole Problems to alert my readers of the symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy and to apologize for sharing so much.)
The physical and emotion strain took it’s tolel and I gained some weight. A month after the surgery I was hired for my first full time job after having my youngest child. The combined emotional pain from having lost a baby and the guilt and stress of working full time also caused me to gain a bit more weight. And that’s where I am today.
I’m at a point where I’m ready to move on. I’ve found balance between my work life and my home life. I’ve come to terms with the loss that I had to endure and I’m ready to continue on this never ending journey.
I’m at the place where I make the conscious decision to take care of myself. Where I make clean healthy food and push my body to it’s athletic limits. Where I make a conscious effort to spend quality time with my kids, yet find the time to focus on myself… enjoying music and reading good books. A place where my husband and I schedule date nights and maybe even make out a bit.
In other words, I’m still strolling down the path that lead me to the healthiest, most balanced life that I’m capable of living because that’s where my happy place is. Feel free to join me…